The fine print you never read

But you should.

Sometimes you just have to get the shit done. My privacy policy and terms of service have been long disregarded so I kicked my ass and updated them. For the sake of transparency, here you are!

(Reading this may result in sudden bouts of clarity or the peculiar feeling of being home.)

What you’re getting into

Everything here is made with human consciousness.

No artificial enlightenment, no spiritual bypassing, no toxic positivity added for flavour. Just words arranged in an order that might make you remember something you’ve always known.

Terms of service

By reading these words, you agree to momentarily set aside your carefully constructed identity. The management takes no responsibility for any stories you may shed along the way. Please collect your discarded narratives before leaving the premises.

Warranty information

My letters and services come with exactly zero promises of transformation. I am not your spiritual vending machine. You already know everything you need to know. I’m just someone who’s sharing her perspectives, pine perch, and walking company in your life and business, on your own terms. Results may not be typical because, frankly, what is typical? Normalcy is just a collective hallucination to keep you in a comfortable prison. Your mileage isn’t comparable to anyone else’s.

Return policy

All epiphanies are non-refundable and non-transferable. Once you see something, you can’t unsee it, though heaven knows we all try. If you find yourself wanting to return to comfortable illusions, please note that the universe does not offer store credit.

Usage guidelines

These words are not meant to be laminated, or used to win arguments at internet rants. They work best when they dissolve after reading, like a dream that brought you inspiration or a good whiskey… Wait a second. I don’t know why I wrote that because I haven’t been able to drink whiskey since a neighborhood spring party in 2011. I barely drink alcohol at all. Granny’s blackberry juice?

Limitation of liability

The author cannot be held responsible for:

• Spontaneous laughter at how seriously you’ve been taking your own mythology

• Sudden urges to stare at clouds, ocean, moss, or horsehair for uncomfortably long periods

• The realisation that most of what you worry about isn’t real

• Dangerous levels of presence and the unsettling clarity that follows

• The inexplicable desire to throw away self-help books

Privacy policy

Your thoughts are your own. I won’t know if you nodded along, rolled your eyes, or had that small moment of recognition that made your chest soften. Unlike the internet behemoths tracking your every digital move, I have no idea what you’re thinking unless you tell it to me. Isn’t that refreshing? Your inner world remains gloriously, completely private.

I promise not to track, measure, or quantify your soul. I have no time or interest to send trigger goblins to lurk behind your clicks.

If you want to work with me, you can send me an email at elina@elinah.studio right away and I’ll meet you there. I can assist you in re-creating your life and business with honesty, presence, decades of experience, and a touch of the unexpected. That’s it.

Intellectual property

The ideas expressed here are probably neither original nor mine. They’ve been floating in the ether since humans first looked up at the stars and thought, “What the hell is all this about and what the fuck am I actually doing here?” I’m just borrowing them for a bit, dusting them off, adding my experiences, and sending them back into the wild. Feel free to take what resonates. The best ideas belong to everyone or no one at all.

Finally we’re in the end

We’re nearly there, reading all the way to the end of fine print. This suggests you have a healthy dose of curiosity and perhaps a slight contrarian streak. I guess you’re someone who doesn’t just follow the blind crowd. You’re exactly who I’m writing for. Thank you for being here. Walk on and create something that makes you smile.

All of the above are subject to change without notice because of the impermanent nature of existence.